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I know every generation before us had it rougher than we do. You know, they had to walk 5 miles in the snow uphill both ways to school and all that jazz, but I’m just going to say it – it’s STILL tough being a dad! Maybe I don’t have to grind it out for 12 hours a day in the coal mines like my grandfather and great-grandfather did, but my life isn’t so easy either. These days, I don’t think any dad’s is (any dad who truly wants and tries to BE a dad, that is).
Have you read the newspaper lately? Watched any TV? Fathers are the most maligned group on the planet! It seems like the only kind of dad who gets any modicum of credit in today’s society is the one who pays his child support on time, every week, and otherwise stays handily out of the picture so the mother can raise the kids properly. In divorce situations, Dads have virtually no rights in the courts regarding their children. The most popular ‘dads’ on TV are bumbling idiots like Ray Romano, Al Bundy, and Homer Simpson. We are an afterthought, a necessary evil to be disposed of at the first opportunity and certainly not to be in any way honored or revered. All this noted, it’s a miracle that there even is a ‘Father’s Day’ at all! For now…
Listen kids, I’m an idiot!
A recent Huggies commercial is par for the course, supposedly putting their diapers to the “toughest test imaginable: dads, alone with their babies, in one house, for five days.” (So, WHY exactly would that be the ‘toughest test imaginable??’) Another Huggies commercial portrayed a group of dads watching a game through ‘double overtime,’ not changing their babies’ diaper once. Really, who would DO that?? Apparently the perception is that most dads would, and that’s a problem. (This post was written in 2012. Interestingly, I wasn’t the only one upset by the series. Since then Huggies has apologized and changed their commercial… seems like public pressure can do some good after all!)
It gets worse. Today’s economy makes it difficult and sometimes impossible for most families to make it on one income. Traditional, historical family roles have been turned upside down as fathers are often no longer able to support their families with their full time job, and mothers are no longer able to rear their children and take care of the home full time. Life became more chaotic and, ultimately, it’s the children who suffer the most.
Ward came home to a hot dinner, a clean house, and a happy wife and kids at the table waiting for him (not to mention a nice newspaper after). Today’s typical dad is lucky to come home to fast food or a frozen pizza.
Most dads today, competent or not, get little or no respect from their wives, their children, or society in general. I could go on and on with this, but ultimately this all begs the question – why?
“As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them.” Isaiah 3:12
The patriarchal Christian society has been under assault for 100 years. It was far from perfect, but I think it would be difficult for any rational person to argue that the character it once instilled in children is any better today, in an age where the law, which once stood firm behind fathers in their Biblical role as leader and protector of the home, now stands against the principles of traditional patriarchal home and hearth, marriage and family. Now, quite literally, women and children rule while men are little more than a laughing stock.
Long ago, the social engineers knew that in order to wreck the culture, the civilization, they would have to wreck its building block, the family – and in order to do that they chipped away at the top, the father, first. They knew that if they were successful in this, the rest would fall. They have continued to whittle away at the edifices that built our once great civilization, a little at a time, until now we have very little left, if anything at all. We are a hollow shell of what we once were.
“…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15
As anyone who knows us or reads this blog regularly knows, we don’t ‘roll’ quite the way most everyone else does. You shouldn’t either. I love being a father. In all the world, there is no sweeter word than ‘Daddy’ when my kids call for me. I love being their protector, their role model, their leader. I’m thankful for the Godly legacy and role model my father was to me. I couldn’t ask for a better helpmeet and encourager and mother to my kids than my wife. She is that rare someone who understands the importance of fatherhood in raising Godly children. Of course they need her, but they need me too. Fatherhood is under fire, and it’s up to us real fathers to take it back and put it in its rightful place, the place where God intended it to be.
WANTED – Men who will be Godly fathers and role models to their children. The future depends on it!
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Well said!
Thanks, and thanks for posting the article on your excellent site! 🙂
Thank you. Especially for that last paragraph.
I’m tired of being portrayed as an incompetent part of my family. I cook (very well, TYVM) and my wife cleans. Tired of commercials that denigrate Fatherhood.
Amen!! Thanks for the comment and for visiting our page. 🙂
This was beautifully written. I never really though about fathers being so neglected and its very sad because they are the roll models for our children to look up to…The darn wars take our fathers and leave the mothers to raise the children…My Dad was my hero..(I miss him still)
and every child needs that. Honor thy father, the first commandment.
Respect the man that gave you life.
Amen! Sometimes I wonder if that’s why the system seems to insist on endless wars… just another arrow in the war on the family.
Thanks for the comment and encouragement! 🙂
You are absolutely right. Our world is backward and so far from the model of husband, wife, father and mother as laid out to work perfectly by God. It’s heartbreaking every day as we look around and listen to the news, surrounded by people disrespecting other people. We feel very called to get it right, make a difference and teach our kids how God set it up to be. The disrespect of parents is bad enough, but men seem to get it the worst from women and men who are absent as fathers. The father’s role is so critical in the foundation and future lives or our kids. We’ve been reading a great new, actually renewed book, I think all dads with daughters would enjoy. We’re loving it, so I have to share… It’s called “She Calls Me Daddy: 7 Things You Need to Know About Building a Complete Daughter,” by Robert Wolgemuth. Originally released in the 90s, it was a best seller. His girls are grown up and give their own input along with their husbands who are daddies to girls. I understand 40% of the book is new material. It’s so unique in this way. Robert puts the anxieties of Daddy raising his girl(s) to rest, guiding you through challenges and good times – protecting, conversation, affection, discipline, laughter, faith, conduct. So great for helping daddies learn to lead, love and cherish. I highly recommend it! http://www.tyndale.com/She-Calls-Me-Daddy/9781589977853#.U7jH414Q7wI
Great post – sounds like a book worthy of checking out! 🙂
I’m going to try to voice my outrage at this blog as respectfully and gently as possible. You should know while reading this that I am a Christian women who cares a great deal about her faith and reverence to the Lord, therefore my points are something you might want to listen to.
Mostly I’m angry because you’re siting female empowerment as the sole and sure reason for societal collapse which:
A. Isn’t accurate
B. Isn’t even a problem. On the contrary, women face FAR more discrimination and disrespect than men! It’s evident in every sector of society!
C. Most importantly, is actually widening and perpetuating the massive problem of gender disparity
But I know me simply stating that isn’t going to change your mind, so instead I’ve responded to some of your statements below:
“Now, quite literally, women and children rule while men are little more than a laughing stock.”
I’d like to start with this. Where are you getting this ridiculous, and frankly untrue, claim? Women do not “rule”. If you don’t believe me here are a couple of articles with real statistics that I found within a couple seconds:
http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/01/14/women-and-leadership/
http://www.aauw.org/research/the-simple-truth-about-the-gender-pay-gap/
I beg of you to please read these and educate yourself on the disparity between male dominance and female discrimination. You “problem” here is not a verifiably real problem in any sector or region of society. If you don’t believe me, do some research.
“Have you read the newspaper lately? Watched any TV? Fathers are the most maligned group on the planet!”
First off where is your proof of this ridiculous, and frankly untrue, claim? Are there statistics proving a massive presence of more male-degrading media than female? Because in all honesty, I know that if we ran the numbers we’d find there’s FAR more female-degrading material out there than male. That’s why females still make lower salaries than males, are less represented in politics, are less likely to be CEO’s, etc. As a working female engineer I can attest to the truth to this not only anecdotally but statistically as well. Please don’t use a couple of examples which support your point to claim universality. It is not fair or truthful.
I’m sure you’ve seen the famous Always commercial (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjJQBjWYDTs). If not, you should really listen to it and consider if it’s females or males that are vastly and ubiquitously disrespected in society.
“Traditional, historical family roles have been turned upside down as fathers are often no longer able to support their families with their full time job, and mothers are no longer able to rear their children and take care of the home full time.”
My issue with this statement is that you’re demonizing female empowerment and enlisting it as the sole and sure cause of familial failure. You’re claiming that the disintegration of traditional, historical family roles is an inherently destructive thing. Even though these traditional, historical family roles were initially created in a society in which females had absolutely no rights? You’re stating that just because I was born a women, the responsibility of child rearing falls inherently on me? Why not the father? Look, I make very good money because I’m extremely intelligent and ambitious (as a matter of fact I graduated at the top of my engineering class above all my male peers), work extremely hard, and love my field. I don’t believe that God would want me to sacrifice my life solely because I am a women. There are other ways to rear children. Good nannys, grandparents, enrichment programs, etc. have all proven to be successful means of raising healthy, moral children.
“Most dads today, competent or not, get little or no respect from their wives, their children, or society in general. I could go on and on with this, but ultimately this all begs the question – why?”
Though I do believe both genders should respect one another equally, women are actually FAR less likely to get respect from men. Though sometimes a women might belittle or abuse her husband (and this is, sometimes, a real problem) you’re exaggerating a point that is relatively underrepresented in our society. You’re crying “wolf” at a problem that isn’t even veritably true. (And if it is, I would love to see the statistics of even one single society where males are not dominant.) And as a matter of fact, I believe that it’s the continuous and inherent empowerment of men as the dominant gender that creates the incessant disparity between females and males in the world. It thought processes such as your own which perpetuate sexism and the impossible closing of the gender pay gap. (see articles above)
Lastly,
“Long ago, the social engineers knew that in order to wreck the culture, the civilization, they would have to wreck its building block, the family – and in order to do that they chipped away at the top, the father, first. They knew that if they were successful in this, the rest would fall.”
First of all, why would a bunch of “social engineers” want society to fall? Were they just bored and wanted amusement? Do you really believe that some wacky desire to ‘watch society fall’ really fulled the movement for female equality? That seems a little weak to me. I don’t think this conspiracy holds up.
And once again, you’re demonizing female empowerment as the sole and sure reason for societal collapse. I’m not trying to be mean or hateful when I say that articles such as this are the reason that sexism is perpetuated. It’s why I’ve had to struggle with it my whole life. Yes, I AM a dominant female. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I can serve the lord and my family being even more dominant than my husband in some ways. In my current serious relationship I’d say that I’m the more stereotypically “masculine” one. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I can love working on cars, I can bring home the biggest paycheck, and our kids would still grow up to be healthy, loved, and moral people. It’s a 50/50, not a leader/follower relationship. The fact that you would site that as some masked reason for failure is ridiculous. Just as my husband will be able to respect me and be dominant, I will be able to respect him and be dominant as well.
Hi Michelle – thanks for writing and sorry it took so long to get it approved. I’ve been involved with other things and haven’t been updating the blog. I hear what you are saying and don’t entirely disagree, but we’ll just have to agree to disagree on some, as some of it is subjective either way. I will say that I believe generally that the feminist influence has been quite destructive to society in general, although my intention would never be to “judge” you on an individual basis. I would recommend you take a look at John Lott’s work on women’s suffrage and the size of government. http://johnrlott.tripod.com/op-eds/WashTimesWomensSuff112707.html Cold hard facts are pretty hard to deal with, although yes the matter is certainly controversial.